or maybe not. i know it's christmas so if you all just wanna hear about all the good stuff then stop and read this some other time.
but maybe then this will have no meaning at all to me anymore.
anyway. i know that it is so late for me to wish for something but maybe when i write about it and people can read and know about it then it'd come true. i don't know what's happening to me right now; i feel so lost, i don't know why. it's just that i cannot even remember why i was living the day before this and the other and the other. i feel i have no purpose right now. not like before. i'm missing my old self. i couldn't see the future and stuff that i want to do and words that i want to say. i can't get in touch with myself. i just wish, not only for christmas, that i can regain my consciousness, my vision, the fire in my heart. because really, now i feel so cold and empty and blank. i need my dreams. please give them back.
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